Sophie's New Assistants
by Calico Yorki
Summary: Exciting. Riiight. It would sure be 'exciting'...I just had no idea how much so at that time. Updated! Chapter Six Up.
1. Prologue: Edna Sucks

Hello, everyone. It's me -- None other than Sophie, the Swamp Witch. That's right, Neopia's most beloved, skilled, and of course _sexiest_ witch. Everyone loves me -- My magic is unparalleled.

Screw Edna.

Screw her to hell.

...

Anyways. I thought you might like to know that I've finally broken down and hired a pair of assistants -- Their names are Zev Raregroove and Basa Lo. Zev is Basa Lo's owner; he's a tall fellow with messy, jawlength black hair, gray-blue eyes and lean muscles. He wears a gray fur jacket, a red collar, black leather pants and boots, and is possessed of hyena-ears and tail and furry hands with sharp black talons.

Basa, meanwhile, is a spunky young yellow Bori -- She wears red-framed glasses with the tops of the frames removed, a long white coat, a horizontally-striped white and dark blue shirt, black biking shorts and white sandals. Despite their odd appearances, the two seem to complete eachother when seen side-by-side.

Now, you might be wondering, "What da hell, Sophie!? Why would _you_ need assistants!?" Well I'll feed you, baby birds. I don't leave my fans hanging -- Unlike Edna.

It all started one fine day, in the middle of the night. I was just about to turn in after finishing my latest masterpiece of a potion, when I heard it: Quite a loud _thunk_ outside, alongside several mewlings of the Meowclops kittens I let run free outside my shack. Quick as a flash I was on my feet, staff in hand and tip aglow with magical energy. Kicking open the door, I rushed outside and peered around to find the offender.

However, I was quite surprised at what I saw: A large fellow with a slightly..._Off_ appearance, laying on his back on the moist ground. He was cackling madly, as the kittens crawled around on him and played with him. Nearby was a female Bori, cuddling a kitten under her chin.

After I had fought the two and the kittens away from eachother, I found out that the large man was named Zev, and was the owner of the yellow Bori, named Basa Lo. Aaah -- You see where this is going now, huh? Zev pulled a business card on me, and called himself 'All-Purpose Cultural Hyaena Sapien Zev Raregroove'; he then said that _Bruno_ had hired him and his Neopet to be my assistants.

...

Overly-attached big brothers, huh? Can't live with 'em...And that's about it. Just kidding -- I love my big bro.

So. Against my better judgment, I let the two of them into my humble abode; to see if they were up to snuff to be assistants to the Glorious, Victorious Sophie. I'm glorious and sexy -- I'm victorious over Edna, that hag.

I had thought it would be pretty simple -- Let them have some snacks, sample their unsatisfactory skills, shoot them down in flames, kick 'em out and get some shut-eye. Done deal, ya know? However, fate had different plans -- For I underestimated big bro's ability to select proper assistants...

Zev showed his worth by quoting every periodic element on the Neopian Table. Basa Lo proved her mettle by reciting, in exact measurements and notations, the textbook recipe for a Green Ixi Morphing Potion. Neither of which is a small feat by any stretch of thinking.

This left me with only one option, really. I'd be a bloody idiot to just let two kids with potential like this leave just like that, nothing more to be said...Even if I got a feeling they weren't all there...

"Alright...You're both hired," I had said. The two cheered and proceeded to both clear the table to glomp me. After I smacked them around a bit to teach them better, I got some quilts and pillows and laid them down on the floor for the two morons to sleep on. I myself curled up in my armchair, my favorite old 'clops curled up in my lap.

"Well...At least it looks like things will be exciting, huh, girl?" I smiled softly as I scratched her fuzzy chin.

Exciting. Riiight. It would sure be 'exciting'...I just had no idea how much so at that time.


	2. Chapter One: The Slime Sonata, Song One

It was a pleasant morning in Sophie's little niche of the Haunted Woods. The sun was just beginning to slowly creep up on Neopia, like a chubby, glowey Kadoatie about to pounce upon the world.

...

Don't question the analogy. It's beside the point.

Sophie was sprawled in her chair -- Hat fallen onto the floor beside her, Meowclops curled up and snoring softly on her lap. Her two-toned green hair cascaded across her shoulders, and she had a softer look on her face than usual. It was a truly peaceful scene.

Then, she awoke abruptly to the sound of tableware clattering.

Snatching up her hat as the Meowclops on her lap leapt away, Sophie stood groggily and stumbled towards the noise. She rubbed at her eyes, looking into the kitchen blearily. Then, her eyes widened. Her eyes bulged. Her eyebrow twitched. Finally, she gave a yell.

"WHAT IN SAM HILL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!!?" The kitchen was in bedlam, plain and simple. Spoons lay discarded on the floor, obviously having been searched through; the cooking ingredients cabinet was ransacked. Basa Lo was at the kettle, stirring some kind of pale gray sludge with staring eyes and wriggling tentacles interspersed throughout. Zev was vacuuming up a bowl of the stuff, seemingly _enchanted_ by the Lovecraftian concoction. At Sophie's shout, Basa turned, lifting the wooden spoon out of the kettle slightly.

Basa smiled, saying, "You haven't _lived_ till you've tried _my_ special porridge!" She suddenly noticed a tentacle rising up particularly far out of the corner of her eye, and so proceeded to smack at it viciously with the spoon, shouting "Get back in there! You get back in there!" Zev looked up to Sophie, slurping up a tentacle like a spaghetti noodle.

"Sorry, Big Sis," he said -- Sophie had to admit, she found the title endearing. Although she was still pissed. Nevertheless, she let Zev continue. "We just wanted to fix you breakfast...And Basa knows how to use Haunted Woods ingredients better than I do. Though, I guess we _should_ have told you first..." As Zev's face dropped, Sophie noted the bowl sitting at her apparently designated chair -- Seeing as it was the only one other than Zev's, and Basa was on porridge-duty. Sighing, the Ixi sat down to a smile from Zev, and began eating.

It _was_ delicious, admittedly.

...

After breakfast was done, the pot, spoons and bowls had been scrubbed clean, and the two new assistants had been given a stern talking-to about keeping Sophie informed about decisions like making an impromptu breakfast, Zev and Basa were sat down before the Swamp Witch's chair. The Ixi plopped down with a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. Looking at the two waiting patiently for her to speak, she decided to dispense orders.

"Alright, you two," she said. "A client who managed to find me before you two came along paid me to brew a potion. I normally don't do stuff like this...But this guy needs to get his revenge on a guy who cheated in the Battledome to win. So, I decided to go along with it." Sophie reached under the chair's cushion, to retrieve a small scrap of yellowed, crinkled-up paper with a lot of writing on it. She handed the list to them.

"Zev, I want you to get the Slorg Slime, Yolkalia Extract, and Draught of Transmutation," she said. "Basa, you'll stir at a pace of five turns per minute and add a drop or two of distilled Faeryllium every two minutes until it turns sludgy and brownish-green. Then, our Potion of Slorg Transmogrification will be finished." She leaned in, glaring evilly. "Don't. Screw. Up. Got it?" The two nodded slowly, looking just a bit fearful.

Sophie stared.

Zev and Basa stared.

Sophie stared.

Zev and Basa stared.

Sophie twitched as she stared.

Zev and Basa stared.

Suddenly, Sophie gave a ferocious roar of "**DISPERSE!!**" Zev and Basa Lo scrabbled to their feet, before running off to complete the task given to them. Sophie chuckled to herself. "Heheheh..._That_ won't be getting old anytime soon." She then picked up a heavy book titled _The Shadow, The Unleanliness and the Mynci of the Abyss_, and began reading at the marked page.

...

"Zzz...Zzz...Mrph, hrmph. Zzzzz..."

Sophie snored peacefully in her armchair, her book laid open atop her chest and her hat slid down over her eyes. Zev and Basa hadn't come running to her for help, so the two blockheads were surely doing fine. Thus, Sophie took her deserved nap.

However, things were about to become quite _not_ fine. Three. Two. One...

_**"!!"**_

**CRASH!! Crash!! Crash!! Crash...**Crash...Crash...Crash...

...

"**WHAT THE FUCK!!?**"

With this shout, Sophie leapt out of her chair, snatching up her staff and fixing her hat to its rightful place. She ran to where the sound had come from, to find an interesting sight: The cauldron she had left for Basa to use was split clean in two and smoking faintly with an acrid stench, the nearby door was hanging half-off its hinges, and there was a massive trail of slime leading from said cauldron out said door and into the distance.

Sophie twitched, approaching a large hump in the slime trail. She lightly kicked the mass, gagging at the _sklch_. All of a sudden, Zev leapt up, his entire back covered in sludge, to show that he had protected Basa from...Whatever the hell it was that had attacked. With a howl of "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS~~~~~!!", Zev charged out of the gaping doorway in pursuit of the mysterious monster, and in the process completely knocked the door off its hinges.

Looking down at Basa, Sophie asked, "Wh...Wh...What...Ha...Happened...?" Looking a little rattled herself, Basa got up. She shivered, disgusted at the _stench_ around her, and finally spoke.

"Th...The potion was...Al-almost...Finished...But then...A...A Meowclops...Was hangin' on the edge of the pot, lookin' in...But...It fell, and...And..." She choked, having to stop to suppress her rising fear. To her surprise, Sophie wrapped an arm around her shoulder and whispered reassuringly.

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay...I know _exactly_ what happened now..." Sophie stood up, lighting a sickly green glow on the end of her staff, and finished.

"Let's go back your owner up -- We've got a _big_ Slorgclops to handle."


	3. Chapter Two: The Slime Sonata, Song Two

Hey, everyone. It's me, Sophie again. Things are going great -- Just one of many delights, Edna hasn't gotten any clients for two weeks, while I've been blessed with _three_ in two weeks, as compared to my usual zero. Looks like Neopia's wakin' up and smellin' the coffee, realizing who's _really_ the proper witch for their needs.

However, there's a downside to getting more visitors: Getting more visitors. I'm not exactly a 'social' gal, so this has caused some irritation. Thankfully, it seems that casual visitors have given way to infrequent business types -- I'm sure the occasional zap to the ass on my part helped out a lot. It's not that I _hate_ people...I'm just a girl that needs her space. I trust my throngs upon throngs of loyal devotees understand.

So, this need for space is why I'm put at odds with my new situation...For, as I'm sure you know, I have a pair of new assistants. They're quite skilled, and make my potion brewing much easier...But there's a genuine problem that I find myself addressing with them quite frequently.

They're _dumb_.

Now, 'dumb' is a subjective thing -- And it's hard to understand it when you've seen how brilliant they are in scientific studies and potion making...But their lack of common sense is highly unsettling.

There's Basa Lo. She's completely absorbed with electronics and videogames -- When she's not working, it's hard to find her doing something that doesn't involve cameras or cellphones or those weird DSeses...She also loves art, but her talent with it is hard to describe. Basa can be found making indecipherable scribbles, carving statuettes of wood, fingerpainting and doing incredibly in-depth sketches, all in the space of an afternoon.

And then, there's Zev. His raw muscle and ability to think outside the box are useful, and the only guy I know who's a bigger teddybear is Bruno...But he tends to make _challenges_. Challenging the Esophagor to armwrestling, for one. That would be irritating enough -- But considering that the Fairground is within walking distance, it's a wonder I can keep him from running amok.

They also know where to find some interesting items...And by interesting, I mean frickin'_ weird._ Zev installed a TV (Without asking me, of course) -- It's a big screen, it's mostly purple and rubbery, and it's attached to the wall by a bunch of tentacles. I'm almost certain he's using it to piggyback on the human world's sattelite signals -- Somehow or other. Then, there's the little machines and stuff Basa has at her little workbench I got for her...I think she's building weapons, but I'm not sure.

Of course, there's Mucus Kitty MacDuff. I'm sure you remember the Slorgclops I shrunk -- Let's see Edna pull _that_ off. Anyways, MacDuff is an odd character. He's ridiculously intelligent -- I often catch him reading books I've left open or finding inventive ways to get food. And he's quite the little scrapper, lemme tell ya; half of the time he's the one to save the Meowclops kittens from wild petpets or thieves, not me. I just have to watch with my scorecards ready.

Speaking of that Slorgclops, it was a _bitch_ to keep his little runaround a secret -- The crashes I had heard were him bashing into trees; he was probably dazed and hurt from the mutation. He tilted them and cracked open the bark, though my magic was able to fix that. The slimetrail decomposed in the air after a while -- As well as proving to contain the Slorg Transmogrification Potion I had needed, which was _awesome_. But the damage at the clearing where he fought Zev was a bit more difficult to fix...Namely, the fallen trees. So, I did what came naturally to me -- An ingenious plan that would have Edna kicking herself for not thinking of it.

I made a fake meteorite and a fake crater, and organized it to look like the meteorite had toppled the trees. And, knowing how people react to such things, no one would question it. When they see a meteorite and fallen trees, they'll never question why they didn't see it falling from space. It's a masterful plan from an ingenious witch.

People can be so easy to manipulate, in that sense. Like when you sit down at a table -- Will you pick up the napkin with your left hand, or your right? Simple -- You'll pick it up with the same hand used by the first person to pick up their napkin, normally they who are at the head of the table. So, if I say a meteorite fell near my property, people will accept that -- I live there, I'm the only one who claims to have seen it, the evidence is there...

But enough philosophical babble. I've got to go prepare my next potion -- A delightful concoction for making anyone who drinks it get twice as fat for everything exceedingly unhealthy they eat. It'll wear off eventually -- But will also surely prove quite useful for teaching someone to stick to a diet.

So I'll see you later, loyal fans. I'm just as dedicated to you as you are to me! Sophie, signing off.


	4. Chapter Three: Life Is Good

Hey, everyone. It's me, Sophie again. Things are going great -- Just one of many delights, Edna hasn't gotten any clients for two weeks, while I've been blessed with _three_ in two weeks, as compared to my usual zero. Looks like Neopia's wakin' up and smellin' the coffee, realizing who's _really_ the proper witch for their needs.

However, there's a downside to getting more visitors: Getting more visitors. I'm not exactly a 'social' gal, so this has caused some irritation. Thankfully, it seems that casual visitors have given way to infrequent business types -- I'm sure the occasional zap to the ass on my part helped out a lot. It's not that I _hate_ people...I'm just a girl that needs her space. I trust my throngs upon throngs of loyal devotees understand.

So, this need for space is why I'm put at odds with my new situation...For, as I'm sure you know, I have a pair of new assistants. They're quite skilled, and make my potion brewing much easier...But there's a genuine problem that I find myself addressing with them quite frequently.

They're _dumb_.

Now, dumb is a subjective thing -- And it's hard to understand it when you've seen how brilliant they are in scientific studies and potion making...But their lack of common sense is highly unsettling.

There's Basa Lo. She's completely absorbed with electronics and videogames -- When she's not working, it's hard to find her doing something that doesn't involve cameras or cellphones or those weird DSeses...She also loves art, but her talent with it is hard to describe. Basa can be found making indecipherable scribbles, carving statuettes of wood, fingerpainting and doing incredibly in-depth sketches, all in the space of an afternoon.

And then, there's Zev. His raw muscle and ability to think outside the box are useful, and the only guy I know who's a bigger teddybear is Bruno...But he tends to make _challenges_. Challenging the Esophagor to armwrestling, for one. That would be irritating enough -- But considering that the Fairground is within walking distance, it's a wonder I can keep him from running amok.

They also know where to find some interesting items...And by interesting, I mean frickin'_ weird._ Zev installed a TV (Without asking me, of course) -- It's a big screen, it's mostly purple and rubbery, and it's attached to the wall by a bunch of tentacles. I'm almost certain he's using it to piggyback on the human world's sattelite signals -- Somehow or other. Then, there's the little machines and stuff Basa has at her little workbench I got for her...I think she's building weapons, but I'm not sure.

Of course, there's Mucus Kitty MacDuff. I'm sure you remember the Slorgclops I shrunk -- Let's see Edna pull _that_ off. Anyways, Macduff is an odd character. He's ridiculously intelligent -- I often catch him reading books I've left open or finding inventive ways to get food. And he's quite the little scrapper, lemme tell ya; half of the time he's the one to save the Meowclops kittens from wild petpets or thieves, not me. I just have to watch with my scorecards ready.

Speaking of that Slorgclops, it was a _bitch_ to keep his little runaround busy -- The crashes I had heard was him bashing into trees. He tilted them and cracked open the bark, though my magic was able to fix that. The slimetrail decomposed in the air after a while -- As well as proving to contain the Slorg Transmogrification Potion I had needed. But the damage at the clearing was a bit more difficult to fix...Namely, the fallen trees. So, I did what came naturally to me -- An ingenious plan that would have Edna kicking herself for not thinking of it.

I made a fake meteorite and a fake crater, and organized it to look like the meteorite had toppled the trees. And, knowing how people react to such things, no one would question it. When they see a meteorite and fallen trees, they'll never question why they didn't see it falling from space.

People can be so easy to manipulate, in that sense. Like when you sit down at a table -- Will you pick up the napkin with your left hand, or your right? Simple -- You'll pick it up with the same hand used by the first person to pick up their napkin, normally they who are at the head of the table. So, if I say a meteorite fell near my property, people will accept that -- I live there, I'm the only one who claims to have seen it, the evidence is there...

But enough philosophical babble. I've got to go prepare my next potion -- A delightful concoction for making anyone who drinks it get twice as fat for everything exceedingly unhealthy they eat. It'll wear off eventually -- But it'll be useful for teaching someone to stick to a diet.

So I'll see you later, loyal fans. I'm just as dedicated to you as you are to me! Sophie, signing off.


	5. Chapter Four: Clingy Children, Part One

The day was going normally, in general. No explosions, no rampaging monsters, no fights...Just an expectably gloomy morning in Sophie's Swamp. Not all sunshine -- It never was -- But not pitch dark, either. Simply a shade of gray.

Sophie was overseeing Basa Lo as she stirred skillfully at a bubbling orange potion. Zev had fixed breakfast (With ingredients from outside of the Haunted Woods, of course) -- Sophie had enjoyed the pancakes enough that she had allowed Zev a two-hour break, so he was currently kneeled in front of the TV, watching some kind of action cartoon. As for Mucus Kitty MacDuff, he was reading from an open book, brow set in concentration as he contemplated the philosophical subjects within the tome.

All of a sudden, there was a crash near the front of the house, causing everyone to jump. Sophie and Basa glanced at Zev. He nodded to them, and moved slowly to the location of the noise. The two waited for him apprehensively, before Zev finally returned, face unreadable.

"...I'm heading out," he said. Without another word, he walked off; the door that had just been repaired early that morning could be heard opening and slamming. Sophie left Basa Lo to continue stirring the potion and left to see what it was Zev had found that had caused such a change over him. When she reached the front room of her shack, what she saw caused her to narrow her eyes.

A window was shattered, glass laying on the floor. It was easy to spot what the culprit had been -- A large, smooth powder blue stone with a note attached. What piqued Sophie's interest was that the rock had apparently not been moved, the note not read. Sophie kneeled down to remove the note, reading it silently.

_Dear Zev: I miss you a lot. You know I love you. If you don't come to see me at the 'meteor crashsite', bad things will happen to people._

_~ XOXO, Aqua Necklace_

...

Zev stepped into the clearing where he had fought the Slorgclops, hands in his pockets. A chilly breeze was starting to pick up, and a figure was standing in the clearing's center. Zev narrowed his eyes, approaching.

The figure turned out to be a blue Aisha. She was small and slight-of-build, and wore a simple dark purple shirt with horizontal white stripes, lighter purple pants, black dress shoes, and a long, pale purple cape draped over her shoulders. She also had on a necklace of cyan and azure crystals, as well as several matching bracelets around her wrists. The Aisha smiled to Zev as he approached. The hyena-eared man spoke.

"Aqua Necklace...You know better than to make empty threats." He removed his hands from his pockets, wriggling his fingers. The Aisha frowned, pressing a finger under her lower lip.

Aqua Necklace said in a sad voice, "But...I just wanna have a sparring match. You left all of a sudden, and I didn't know where you went!" She smiled then, a cute, sweet smile. "But I've found you now...So we can play!" Suddenly, her hands started to glow oddly.

"Watch it," Zev said. "I'm not the kinda guy to pull my punches just because you look like a kid...Just come with me, and we don't have to fight." He held his clawed hands up in a diplomatic position, but was met by opposition from the young blue Aisha.

And by opposition, I mean a strange tendril slashing open his left shoulder.

Zev glanced to his shoulder and sighed as the tentacle returned to Aqua. He didn't even look to her as she giggled. Suddenly, in a flash of speed, he caught the next tendril in its process of whipping him across the face. He crushed the tendril, reducing it to a cyan liquid. The paste-like material immediately returned to Aqua Necklace, reforming into the middle two fingers of her left hand. Zev growled as he finally turned his eyes back to her.

"Fine. Sometimes, children need a bit of force to be taught better." With that, he charged Aqua, swinging a claw. Aqua Necklace dodged to the side, turning her hand into a similar claw, and lashed out towards Zev. Her talons closed in on his face, aiming for his eyes...!!

However, the All-Purpose Cultural Hyaena Sapien spun rapidly, repulsing the attack. The two got into a staredown, seemingly indifferent, angry, and strangely attached at the same time.

Then, they charged eachother again.

...

"What!?"

By this time, Sophie and Basa Lo were heading through the woods again towards the clearing. Sophie looked to Basa in surprise at what she had just said -- After she had yelled, of course. Basa nodded, uttering the statement again.

"Yes -- Aqua Necklace is Zev's second Neopet." She paused, before continuing with, "I noticed right away she was kinda clingy to Zev...We should have known she'd react badly to being left alone. And since she's got the same kind of violent tendencies as Zev..." Basa let the statement trail away as the two heard the sound of fighting up ahead. However, the two slowed down; for both knew they didn't want to distract Zev the slightest bit in this fight.

The two creeped up, listening to the symphony of the two fighters, and intrigued at who could make such a racket fighting without weapons...


	6. Chapter Five: Clingy Children, Part Two

"HWOOOAAAHHH!!"

This roar came from Zev as he delivered a powerful axekick towards Aqua Necklace. However, the young Aisha girl dodged easily, seeming to flow out of the way. This left Zev's boot to make a large crater in the ground, as he rolled away and went up on one knee. Immediately, he threw a punch forward, seemingly for no reason.

As it turned out, this was an expert move; for his fist struck Aqua's newly-clawed hand right in the palm, stopping her. However, she didn't let that stop her. Aqua Necklace lashed out with a roundhouse kick, which caused her leg to twist around Zev's neck in a rather disturbing fashion. She constricted, and Zev's hand dropped. With a smirk, she prepared to strike again, but was quite surprised at what happened next;

That would be an uppercut, right on her chin.

Aqua was sent flying, but quickly righted herself and did a series of flips, landing on her feet. Zev rubbed at his neck, frowning, before getting back to his feet. Suddenly, he dashed in, moving at incredible speed and swinging a right hook at Aqua Necklace. The Aisha blocked with her left, although she faltered under the weight; and while she successfully blocked Zev's roundhouse kick from the other side with her right forearm, the impact drove her to her knees. Aqua yelped, cowering in fear. She was surprised to find that Zev didn't deliver the finishing blow.

Looking up, she saw Zev had backed up to about three meters away. To her confusion, he said, "Up." However, when he narrowed his eyes at her and his lip curled slightly, Aqua immediately stood up; she was aware of his intentions now. Getting into a loose combat stance, she prepared to continue.

...

"What is he doing!? Why didn't he knock her out!?"

Sophie hissed this as she and Basa Lo watched from behind a large bush. She was using an app on Basa's cellphone that acted as a spyglass to get a better look at the fight, while Basa waited her turn to use it. The Bori girl was watching the fight intently, showing as much unusual seriousness as Zev was.

Basa said, "It's because neither want to finish off the other." Nodding at Sophie's surprised look, she continued. "Zev just wants to get this over with -- Aqua, meanwhile, wants to get rid of the frustration of being left behind, as well as bonding with her owner." Basa smiled, as she finished.

"There are some relationships where individuals prove their bonds by simply beating the crap out of eachother," she said warmly. Sophie quirked an eyebrow; while she wouldn't put it quite that way, she could definitely understand the sentiment. At a nudge from Basa, the Swamp Witch passed the cellphone back to her with a bit of reluctance. Upon thinking of something, she put forth a question.

Sophie asked, "So...What's the deal with that girl's attacks? That's definitely not normal..." She subconciously scratched at her ear in confusion as Aqua threw an extending punch that was deflected by Zev. Basa Lo grunted before she replied.

"Oh...Well, something went wrong when Aqua was born, from what I heard. Nobody expected her to live past a year or two. She met Zev, and he took her to a special healer he knew -- A Water Faerie who deals with unique cases that need healing." Basa paused for some reason, before finishing. "It worked out...But now, Aqua can turn herself into a liquid, and even when she doesn't do that, she's really rubbery and stretchy. It's weird at first, but you get used to it." She nodded knowingly.

Without a response, Sophie simply gave a "...Huh. I see." The two then fell into silence and went back to watching the fight between owner and pet.

...

"Yah!" Aqua shouted while swinging her arm. This movement lobbed several golfball-sized masses of cyan liquid at Zev with great speed. Zev jabbed with his fingers swiftly, knocking each one down individually. The liquid immediately shot back to Aqua, melting back into her. Before she could react, Zev had leapt with great height and speed, arms trailing behind him.

Upon landing before Aqua Necklace with a _thump!_, Zev threw both of his hands forward in a double open palm strike. Aqua only had enough time to cross her arms over her chest to defend before the impact sent her rolling backwards, head-over-heels. As Aqua blearily sat up, Zev spoke casually.

"You really shouldn't have made that threat in the note," he said. "Not just because it's bad behavior...But that threat's so vague, it's laughable. Like this." Then, he proceeded to guffaw loudly, smacking his knee as he laughed. Aqua huffed, flipping to her feet.

She said angrily, "This coming from the guy who made a threat to me when I _woke him up from a nap!_ 'I'll tickle you so bad' is what you said, and you're calling _my_ threats laughable!?" She blew a raspberry. Zev scowled at her.

"**Shaaaaddap!! **You're missing the point entirely," he yelled. As Aqua turned her gaze down, ashamed, he nodded. "If you wanted to meet with me, you could just call Basa on her cellphone. No need to put together a big dynasty-shit scheme." He crossed his arms, finishing with, "Now, do you apologize for what you've done?" He glared expectantly.

Aqua Necklace traced circles in the dirt with the toe of her shoe. Then, finally: "Well...Mmhmmm." Twitching at Zev's ferocious expression, she stuttered, "I-I'm really s-s-sorry!" She bowed her head for good measure. Zev smiled at this.

He said, "Alright...Now come here for a hug." The two approached eachother and embraced. Aqua Necklace nuzzled her face into Zev's chest as he gently stroked the back of her head. It was a very heartwarming moment. That is, before Aqua spoke up.

"I...I also needed your help. Some guys..." She pulled away from him, looking up hopefully as she let the sentence hang. Zev nodded knowingly, smiling at her with a reassuring warmth.

Zev said, "Yeah...I figured as much. I noticed some fresh footprints that I recognized. I've dealt with those goons before -- Don't you worry." The two turned towards the shadows beyond the clearing. A loud growling could be heard, as a few figures started to move. Sophie and Basa Lo were fighting for the cellphone to see what it was, as Zev and Aqua Necklace stood side by side.

From the darkness of the forest emerged several orange Krawks, decked out in identical dark red uniforms. The apparent leader, having a uniform with gold epauls, stepped forward.

He said, "Hello, there...My name is Rudobon. My superiors would like to have a _word_ with that Aisha there. She holds an abiltiy that they would like to learn more about. Please step away from her and hold your hands above your head." Rudobon smiled congenially, _oozing_ charisma. Most individuals would listen to him. Zev, however...

"Kiss my ass." He casually flipped the bird at the group, smiling. Rudobon scowled, distorting his face in an ugly way. Without a word, his group each drew a forearm-length blade and moved in. In response, Zev and Aqua Necklace got back-to-back, ready for combat. They both grinned, daring the Krawks to attack.

The Krawks moved in.

...

"Oh, so you're Sophie? Nice to meet you!"

Aqua and Sophie shook hands. The Swamp Witch smiled down at the Aisha, a noticeable bead of sweat running slowly down the right side of her face. For laying all around her and Aqua were the Krawks, beaten senseless by the combined might of her and Zev.

Their leader, Rudobon, had his pants pulled down to display his Puppyblew undies, and was hanging on a treelimb by the briches around his ankles. Zev and Basa Lo were pointing up at him and laughing uncontrollably, utterly destroying his confidence for what would surely be a good, long time. Sophie had to admit, it was a pleasure to see him in such a position.

...

And there was no way in hell she'd be letting Aqua Necklace move into her house.


	7. Chapter Six: A Shift In The Breeze

Sophie hummed as she and Basa Lo strolled down a sorry-looking street in the Haunted Woods. She just needed to get some ingredients, and Basa wanted play a few rounds at the Corkgun Gallery. It was very peaceful -- But Sophie was a bit on edge.

...Because she was starting to get used to the calm coming before a _big_ storm.

Indeed, as she and Basa passed by Edna's Tower, of all places, they heard a loud screaming and several crashes. Sophie paused...Did she really want to head in? Edna had probably just slipped up on a potion and made a monster. Sophie hated the old Zafara, but trusted she could handle anything from her own cauldron. But then, as Basa Lo's expectant look up at her started to make her reconsider, what she heard next cemented the decision to go in:

A male voice could be heard yelling something, followed by a high-pitched wail from Edna.

Sophie immediately rushed up to the tower, trying the door. There, she found the door locked tight. She was about to cast a spell, before she caught a movement from Basa Lo.

The Bori's claws glowed a shining white as she slashed the door. The wood was splintered open, making a way in. Basa immediately dashed in, and Sophie followed her soon after. What the two found gave them great shock.

Inside was a large figure holding Edna by the collar of her dress, as she struggled and cried. He turned to Sophie and Basa, showing that he was a huge orange Lupe, with a small part of his left ear missing and his right eye scarred and an empty white. He was wearing a dark blue uniform of some kind, and had a build that matched Zev's. The Lupe spoke in a strained, angry voice.

"Go away. None of your business." As Edna began to say something, he shook her violently, causing her to scream loudly. He turned back to her, thinking that it would be simple as that. However, he didn't know what happens when you piss off the Swamp Witch.

With a shrieking noise, the Lupe found his back exploding in pain. He grunted an turned back to Sophie, only to get a blast of lime green magical energy straight between his eyes. The massive individual howled, dropping Edna and grabbing his face with both hands. Sophie bared her teeth at him, her fingertips abolutely blazing with magical energy.

In a voice that trembled with rage, she said, "You won't be telling _me_ what is and isn't my business, you big dumbass!!" She then began weaving a spell, as the Lupe struggled with his further-impaired vision. Sophie recited an incantation.

"_Carriage of thunder, blue line, bridge of a spinning wheel. With light, divide this into six!_" She then swung both hands. From her motion, six rods of green energy shot out, latching onto the Lupe; two on his chest, one on each bicep, one on his left thigh, and one to a shin. As he tried to attack her, he found that he was frozen in place, unable to move. But Sophie wasn't finished yet.

Continuing into another incantation, she said, "_Ye Lord! Mask of flesh and bone, severing of limbs, ye who bares his fangs at darkness! Inscribe a lotus upon the conflagration and wait at the abyss!_" All the while, she had been gathering a large sphere of fiery green energy in her hands. At the end of the incantation, she thrust her palms outward. This unleashed a spearing beam of green fire that detonated violently upon striking the Lupe.

He fell from the smoke, charred all over, to be met with yet another spell. This one caused him to shrink and deform, into a tiny little shape. Sophie sneered down at the unconcious Slorg distastefully. "Bullying women…I'd think such a large fellow wouldn't need to sink so low," she said hatefully. As she stuffed the transformed Lupe into a pouch, Edna approached.

The old Zafara said, "…While you have my thanks, why did you help me?" She narrowed her eyes. "You have nothing to gain…You don't even like me…With me gone, you wouldn't have any competition. Care to explain to a woman narrowly saved from death?" She quirked an eyebrow as she awaited a response.

Sophie crossed her arms with a huff. "It should be obvious," she said. "Wuitches are to be respected and _feared_. I can't simply let such a gross showing of irreverence for our power and influence simply go by impune. So don't get the wrong idea!" She grabbed Basa Lo by the arm. "Let's go," she said as she dragged the Bori out of Edna's Tower. The old Zafara watched after them for a while, before a wispy smile crept across her face.

"…That's youth for you," she said dryly. Edna then began preparing to clean up the mess.

…

In a dark, hot chamber, a female figure stood. She was an orange Zafara with prominent, curved bangs hanging forward over the left side of her face, a substantial bossom, and enticing hips. She was dressed in a dark gray uniform, customized with no sleeves and an opening that revealed a gratuitous amount of her cleavage. She would indeed seem very inviting.

Were it not for how she was pressing her boot down into the side of a bruised orange Krawk's head, ignoring his wheezing grunts of pain and cries for mercy. The Zafara spoke in a soft voice with a faint Italian accent.

"I will let you go, Third-Rank Officer Rudobon…Once you do something for me," she said detachedly. "You will tell me why I am punishing you, you will apologize, and you will tell me what you will do to remedy this situation our family is in." She let up a large amount of the pressure on Rudobon's head, enough that he could speak freely.

The Krawk trembled, before speaking. "I am being punished because I overestimated my squad's abilities and underestimated the abilities of my target and her allies…Words cannot express the shame I feel, nor how truly sorry I am, Sir." When he felt just a bit more of the pressure being let up, he took that as his cue to finish. "To resolve my mistake, I…I shall form a professional team of other Third-Ranks instead of drawing from the Millions, and form a plan that I shall only put into effect with the approval of my superiors," he said, slightly speeding up at the end. He winced as the Zafara remained silent. A minute passed. Half a minute passed after that.

Finally, the Zafara removed her boot from Rudubon's head, and proceeded to roughly grab him by the arm and drag him to his feet. She then said to him, "You will gather Officer Duff, Officer Racas, Officer Rotor and Officer Reuben. Tell them they have been chosen specifically by South Base's Director, First-Rank Officer Fiora Aranciona. They have no option to decline – Make sure that much is clear to them. Also, make preparations for Second-Rank Officer Velky Vilk's replacement to be located and examined – Sources tell me that…Outside factors led to the failure of his mission." She ended at that. Nodding, Rudobon was quick to leave.

Fiora simply stood there in the darkness, silent. She made no noises or movements. Suddenly, the darkness could be seen to move. Before her, three narrow, vertically-aligned eyes arranged in a triangle appeared, gazing at her. A very soft, but far from comforting voice spoke.

"_Dear child of mine…Tell me how the initiative goes."_

…

On Krawk Island, a large fellow left the Swashbuckling Academy. He was a green Kyrii of broad, sturdy frame, dressed in a black tuxedo, black tie, polished black dress shoes and black derby. He adjusted his tie, and began walking down the avenue – However, he didn't get far.

Suddenly, five unruly individuals moved out of a pair of alleys that the Kyrii was right between, three behind him, two before him. The three behind him consisted of twin Meercas and a portly Lupe, the two ahead were a Krawk with a bandana and an eyepatch and a lean Gelert covered with stitched-up scars. The Gelert was apparently the leader, as he drew a broad dagger and breathed, "Alright, big guy…Give us anything worth cash, and we won't hurt ya…" However, the Kyrii remained completely calm.

The large Neopet simply removed his derby, gently tapping its brim against his palm. He turned slowly to the two Meercas and the Lupe, who each brandished clubs at him and growled. It seemed the Kyrii would do nothing.

However, he suddenly lashed out, throwing his derby. The hat impacted the Lupe's temple, ricocheted to hit the Meerca on the crown, and spun off to return to the Kyrii's hand, all in a matter of seconds. The remaining Meerca pushed off of the ground with its tail, swinging its club towards the Kyrii, but he simply brought the top of his hat up to block. The deflection was followed by an uppercut that knocked the Meerca back to fall unconcious with his two allies.

Immediately after the Kyrii spun, slamming his derby into the temple of the Krawk and saving himself from a sneak attack. He quickly approached the dumbstruck Gelert, jabbing the derby's brim into his chest. The Kyrii followed up by bringing his knee into the would-be thief's gut, before delivering a chop to his temple to knock him down. Ignoring the gathering crowd, the Kyrii simply placed his derby where it rightly belonged and walked off.

"I hope I don't miss that ship to the Haunted Woods," he said under his breath.


End file.
